What Will You Give Me?

As my friend Lauren was trying to decide this last spring where she should go as a SM, she also was determining which college to go through. She was finishing up with Pre-PA at SAU and after her year down here she was planning to head out to start Union’s PA program. So after much debating, she decided to kind-of go through both schools. Since being down here, Union has sent her several packages, e-mails, hand written letters, etc.
I also have several friends down here that are from Walla Walla. School just started for them a few weeks ago, and yesterday the SM coordinator from there faxed a wish list down here for my friends to check things they might want in a box.
For a long time, those of us from SAU heard nothing.
As of now SAU has been in session for about two months and has sent one e-mail asking for us to write articles for them and another saying a brief hello…no “how are you doing, tell us about life”…nada. Needless to say, as of lately, many of us from SAU have bitterly discussed our school’s support, or lack of. The other day, I even went as far as saying, “What is the point of a SM office if they don’t support the SMs while they are out!” After voicing that thought though, I was reminded by a fellow SM, with a slightly better attitude, that perhaps the office staff is often busy with more important stuff, like fundraising or preparing for the second semester SMs to go out. Wow, bull’s-eye, she was right on and had totally called me out. Whether the SAU SM office is in the right or in the wrong, my reaction to the situation had been really egocentric.
As I thought about this, I realized that often in life I look to see what I can get out of things, not what I can offer. I was dismayed to replay numerous situations in my head and realize how many times I have actually done things that outwardly seemed selfless, but have underlying selfish intentions…
*What can I get from sharing? I will give you some of my precious chocolate from the States, but when you get your next package you better give me some of your goodies…
*What can I get from helping others? I will visit that family with you, but when I need help with cooking supper you better jump at the opportunity…
*What can I get from being compassionate? I will listen to you and act as though I care, but when I need someone to be a sounding board for me after a rough day you better have the time to listen…
*What can I get from being a hard worker? I will work hard, but you better reward me and praise my work…
It was discouraging to see how in my daily life here, I could find so many examples where my every action perhaps were so self-centered. But the next question really hit me…
*What can I get from my relationship with God?...Wow, that was a solemn thought. Did I really do the same thing with God that often?
I catch myself way to often being ungrateful for what God does give me and spend my time griping about what I don’t feel like He is addressing quite the way I think He should. But in reality, it is amazing how much time the creator of the universe takes for me. He takes time to listen to all of my concerns and constantly is guiding me through life. How do I over and over again get discouraged and ask God why He is not doing more for me? In the whole scheme of things, He puts a lot more into the relationship that I do, He should honestly be the one feeling short changed! I need to spend more time thinking of ways that I can bring happiness to the One who gives my life purpose. I need to focus more on bringing glory and honor to God. He is doing way more than His part so it is probably about time for me to start pulling my part of our working relationship too.